saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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