I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize