pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
