party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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