I saw his package. It spoke to me.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
