Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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