To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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