LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
