Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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