I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize