Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
