Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
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