is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
