Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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