GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Randomize
