That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
