There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
