Having a random hookup so left but love u
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
So much Jack, so little girl.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Randomize
