Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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