I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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