Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
