So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
