i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Randomize
