She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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