I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
