god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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