hotel room ftw
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
