I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
