the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
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