Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
