no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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