I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
He felt like a one man threesome
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
