Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
