A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
