He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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