real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
