You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
