Sry I called you an 8
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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