Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
