i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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