we have officially lost it.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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