We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
