the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize