"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
