You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
