i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
