carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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