im so drunk with asians
where?
always
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
