how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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