the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
