if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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