i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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