you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Randomize
