How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
