A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
i am craving dick and cupcakes
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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