so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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