Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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