just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Randomize
