you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
you never un-have a 4some
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Randomize
