Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
