definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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