so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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