you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
