She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
